The Narcissist Hall of Fame

Wearing a long medium silk black dress that fell below her knees, a two-inch heel, with her hair pinned up and just a few brunette-colored strands falling onto her shoulders Kiley Blake felt accomplished. Contemplating new opportunities that she now faced, she stopped then pushed herself up against the wall, she received a glance from a passerby, she held her knee with one hand and kicked one heel off then lifted the other knee kicking the other heel off, so that she could change into her black flats.

Once she placed them on her feet, she picked up her two-inch heels and whispered,

“oh this is much better.”

She began walking singly down a long hall at the Chicago Humanities Festival where serious artists including Kiley were recognized for their accomplishments. She had just been recognized for her collections of photographs and supporting books and materials.

In that long hall there were many doors with beautiful exhibits from illustrations to oil paintings and much more. She spent more time than she anticipated observing and admiring the quality of their artistry. There was one room she expected to visit along the way as Kiley reached out to open the unlocked door. Stepping inside she peered along the walls, where she viewed her photographs delicately placed, no doubt, whereas one in the center appeared slightly larger than the others.

Kiley’s first inclination was to continue her stride, staying in her euphoria, heading towards the exit door. Instead, she slowed her walk, pondering, was there time to observe her photos from the vantage point that someone new would, with a fresh set of eyes? Her family would likely still be getting through a line of people waiting to get outdoors where they planned to meet up, so she thought, yeah, there’s time. Memories rushed across her mind ,still delicate, but ultimately weren’t fresh any longer. The pull of the centerpiece brought her more emotion, so she paused and instead she stepped closer towards the first image, where it felt simpler. Kiley smiled as she observed it, she viewed the title which read, The X-Boyfriend by Kiley Blake.

As she thought about the moment she met Ryan Randel, he was six feet tall with blue green eyes, well-kept hair, he wore designer clothing and had no piercings or tattoos that led Kiley to think that he was a safe choice and because their friend Sarah made the initial introduction. Sarah and Kiley met as coworkers who almost immediately became great friends. They both worked in a photo studio and had a love for photography at their core.

Shortly after meeting Sarah, she recalled Sarah blurting out

“ hey you should meet my friend Ryan, you two would really hit it off?”

In an excited tone said

“yeah, okay tell me a little about him.”

Sarah painted this picture of him that seemed desirable.

She said “he was in sales, tall, handsome, smart with his money who was putting it mostly towards purchasing a townhome with a lake in the back.

Too good to be true, but Sarah talked him up as a hot item in the dating world. So, Kiley agreed and Ryan and Kiley would meet at the studio on a Friday after work.

Upon her first view she noticed he was driving a new BMW and Sarah was right he was tall and handsome with blue green eyes and broad shoulders. Their first date was surprisingly well and when their date ended, she drove home excited to call Sarah since it was a success. Sarah was glad to hear, then she got a call from Ryan, so she said Kiley I’ll call you right back Ryan is on the phone, so Kiley agreed.

Sarah called Kiley back and said,

“are you up for another date on Thursday? “Um Yes!” Kiley quickly said excitedly.

As Thursday was upon them, Kiley was picked up by Ryan in his BMW and while driving, he asked “where do you want to go, a movie maybe?

Before Kiley could answer Ryan said “oh I know, ill take you to see where I work” Kiley agreed “okay” even though she wasn’t that interested in going to his job on a date. As they drove a few minutes, she realized that Ryan enjoyed talking so much that he would ask a question and before Kiley could answer, he would answer his own question.

Once they arrived, he got out and said come on. She stepped out of his car, closing the door behind her. Kiley looking down to make a quick visual check of her outfit, Ryan had already begun walking into the door, she thought oh he’ll hold the door for her since he knew her legs were shorter than his, but nonetheless she walked a little faster. She got to the door and realized he had already walked in, leaving her outside. To Kiley, this felt absurd, but calming herself down she thought it was just an overlook by Ryan, so she opened the door and walked in brushing her feelings aside and told herself it’s no big deal.

When she looked around, she observed a store full of furniture and mostly mattresses.

This was Ryan’s job, a mattress salesman, “hmm” she said and then heard a yell in the distance it was Ryan saying Kiley “I’m over here” as Kiley walked towards him, she noticed another person standing next to him “This is my supervisor Gary” Ryan said “nice to meet you” Kiley said while waving. Gary looked at Ryan and then Kiley and said, “very nice to meet you, I was trying to get your boyfriend to work today for a few hours what do you say?” Kiley, though feeling unease with Ryan being called her boyfriend said, “well I guess its up to him!” Ryan interrupted “No, I said I was on a date with my girlfriend so that’s a hard hell no” as Ryan and Gary both began laughing

Kiley smiled but didn’t find it funny as she was still uneasy about the boyfriend reference.

Though their date started rocky for Kiley, after a few drinks at a local bar she decided to set it aside and give Ryan a second chance. They had an enjoyable time swapping stories about bad dates and by the end of the night Kiley was reassured that Ryan was the guy she felt comfort with on the first date.

He would drop her off at home that night and said, “we should do this again, you’re a lot of fun Kiley” as Kiley agreed “we should.” Ryan gave her a kiss that night, it was gentle the way a first kiss should feel. “Okay, I’ll call you!” he said as he waited for her to open the door and step out.

The next morning, she got into work a little late, “sorry for being late Sarah!” Sarah responded with a simple “no worries” then she said put your bag and coffee away and tell me everything. She knew exactly what that meant she wanted to hear all the juicy details. So, Kiley placed her bag in her locker and walked to the front of the studio. She began telling her that it was rocky at first and that she didn’t intend to meet

Ryan’s supervisor but after they began their date it went well when Sarah interrupted her,

“Oh he didn’t tell me about that part? He is a workaholic” Kiley surprised said “wait you talked to him already?” as Sarah mentioned yeah, he calls me every day, don’t worry were just friends.”

As Kiley looked at Sarah then said, “yeah that’s fine, your friends, no big deal.” At the end of their shift Sarah said, “you know “we should go on a double date, me my partner Mike and you and Ryan, what do you say” she asked? Kiley said yes, that’s a great idea. Kiley called Ryan later that day and Ryan sounded interested, then mid conversation, he started ranting “ oh that Sarah, she loves taking photos of everything and has about a million that she hasn’t done anything with, she is wasting her time and talent on photography” as Kiley felt uncomfortable with this line of conversation since Sarah always spoke so highly about Ryan. Kiley interrupted and said, “well I have to go so I’ll see you this weekend, okay?” Ryan agreed and they ended their call.

That Saturday, Kiley was running late when she arrived at Ryan’s home. Sarah greeted her at the door, “hey Kiley! Come in” gave her a hug then made the introductions to Mike, “Hey nice to meet you Kiley, Sarah talks about you all the time!” then Kiley said, “nice to meet you too Mike, same!” as Sarah and Kiley laughed, “Where’s Ryan? ”Kiley asked. Oh, he’s changing upstairs; he’ll be right down,” said Sarah. As Kiley sat down, she realized the home was genuinely nice, “wow nice looking home” said Kiley loud enough so Ryan would hear her. “Right” said Sarah smiling let’s go to the backyard, as Sarah grabbed her phone on the way out. “Hey let me take a photo of you standing in the front of the lake? When Sarah began taking photos of Kiley, Ryan stuck his head out of the backdoor and shouted “hey Kiley”, Kiley and Sarah began walking towards Ryan, Kiley wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to give him a hello kiss, or a hug, so she leaned in and hugged him to be safe. This felt comfortable for Kiley like just a bunch of friends spending time together, so she continued to see Ryan.

Six months later, Kiley and Ryan were still dating although Kiley always felt unease when Ryan would talk down about their friend Sarah. She stopped making a point to change the subject since he would get more upset when Kiley said anything to correct him. One afternoon, Ryan invited Kiley, Sarah, and Mike over. Sarah began taking photos on her phone of everyone. Kiley asked if she could borrow her phone as she must have misplaced hers’, Sarah agreed. Kiley snapped a few of Sarah and Mike, then walked over to where Ryan was lying on his couch taking a few photos of Ryan as he smiled with his shirt slightly unbuttoned. When Sarah got her phone back she laughed and said Ryan you have a huge Cowlick in your hair,” laughing uncontrollably he immediately flew into a rage and said “Delete it Sarah, Delete it now!” standing up from the couch then slamming his drink down on the table as Sarah calmly said um “ok” but had already sent the group of photos to Kiley’s phone, stating as a matter of fact I’m deleting it now.

She didn’t lie about it, but she didn’t disclose that before she deleted it one would be available now on Kiley’s phone. He mentioned he was tired and had to work the next morning and sent Sarah and Mike home for the night. As Kiley and Ryan spent the night together, she woke up in the middle of the night remembering that she left her phone in his BMW. She thought she could rush downstairs, grab his car key fob unlock it from inside, and grab her phone before he even noticed it. She picked up the blankets not to wake him and creeped outside. After finding her phone on the passenger seat, she went back to the front door she realized it was locked. Oh no, she was upset that she didn’t think about his automatic lock at the front which meant she had no other way in. She had to knock on the door to wake him up, but he was deep asleep, so she had to ring the doorbell. Eventually waking him up, he came to the door and appeared disheveled and absolutely enraged. Ryan said “Oh my god! Kiley, what are you doing? She tried to explain that she needed her phone, that she had left it in his car, he said nothing but began walking upstairs and back to bed. She followed behind him and thought it was a little comical being locked out, but it was no big deal.

Ryan didn’t appear to share in the comedy of it leaving Kiley feeling dismissed. In that moment he looked at her the way he had always looked at Sarah, beneath him. The next morning, he asked to take her home and they spoke extraordinarily little on that drive which said something about Ryan as he was content to hear his own voice most days, no goodbye kiss, just a wave from Ryan to Kiley. The next few days she hadn’t heard back from him, so she attempted to call him, and it went straight to voicemail.

A week went by when she asked her friend Sarah if she spoke with Ryan and Sarah said “yeah, I went by earlier to drop off an invitation.” And then simply said I don’t want to get in the middle of this but your also my friend so I’m telling you. Ryan said you were knocking on his door in the middle of the night disheveled and didn’t care about waking him or his neighbors up and because of that alone he wasn’t going to be involved with you anymore. Kiley realized at that moment that she was dealing with a real narcissist. Snap! As she walked past her portrait of Ryan and his Cowlick shaking her head in amusement.

While Kiley took slower steps towards the center of the photographs, she felt a heavier sense of emotion arose, realizing this was perhaps the most difficult of the three, yet, walked towards the image with clarity, pride, and confidence. This centerpiece was titled underneath, The X-Husband by Kiley Blake , “ which she recalled well, the moment she took that photo.

It was about ten till 1 o’clock as Kiley was driving as fast as she could down the road to meet her final class in creative arts. Where she would reveal her final project in photography. She was late to say the least, but she had time to stop and grab a quick coffee to boost her energy along the drive. Her drive was always so hectic living in a rural area of Colorado where she had to drive about 45 minutes every day to get to school. Kiley was often late for this class but specifically remembered her teacher saying if your late this time Kiley, your project will be invalid, and you will be given a zero for your final! Ugh! Kiley rolled her eyes and then she went on her way to her next class where she met up with her friend Samantha or Sam as everyone would call her. Sam had long blonde wavy hair and always seem to get attention from boys no matter where they went.

Sam was one of the first people she met at the University of Colorado, she recalls it well, she was in a photo journalism class and the assignments were being given out as the instructor asked who wants to fill in for Sam since she was going to be out of town visiting family in Montana. Kiley immediately raised her hand and said, “I’ll be her backup.” Sam didn’t seem to notice Kiley before then, but when she said she would help, Sam was thankful, so she walked up to Kiley after class and said thank you for doing this, I’m sure you’ll be great. As Kiley was glad to help, she realized she didn’t know what Sam did for her regular assignments, so she asked what are you supposed to be covering? As they walked together to their next class she said baseball, I’m the sports photographer I thought you knew, ohh, Kiley thought, she never took moving photos before and didn’t really know if she would be any good and while she was thinking this Sam reassured her and said “don’t worry you’ll be fine” while giving her a few tips to work with.

These tips included making sure to get action in the photo and closeups of the players and the final tip was do not get hit. Kiley was uneasy and a bit afraid of the photos not coming out since she was used to taking photos of landscapes and inanimate objects like fruit. She showed up to her first men’s baseball game covering the Lions, she wasn’t sure how close to stand and wasn’t sure how to get the action photos like Sam suggested. She stood too close, and the umpire yelled “ GET OUT OF THE FIELD! ” pointing to Kiley. She stopped and politely said “sorry!” then walked back about ten steps. Kiley began shooting the umpire and his angry look, proof that she couldn’t stand too close, and therefore giving her the excuse, if she needed, if the photos turned out bad. She began taking photos of all the players while balls zipped back and forth from one base to another, she shot the images where she could see the action. She caught one player running towards the home base and thought, wow, that was a good one! Before Kiley knew it the game was over. Hopefully, I took enough good photos as the camera cover was placed back on.

The next day she took her photos into the editing room where there were darkrooms and students were able to print all their own photos. Kiley went into the darkroom and began developing her contact sheet just the way she always had before, when another student walked in. She was in the final stages of drying her image, so she wasn’t too bothered. The student came in close, looked at all the images and said, “Hey nice photos!” “oh” she said without hesitation “thank” before she could get her thank you out, he interrupted her and said, “it’s too bad you got all of the action photos of the rival team!” he said. Oh no, she thought as she looked down at all her photos in a panic and realized he was right.

He wasn’t being rude, just a matter of fact, and she was humiliated but thankful he brought this to her attention. “I don’t know too much about baseball but Thank you” she said as he introduced himself “I’m Stephen” as he put his hand out, she extended her hand “I’m Kiley, nice to meet you.” Stephen was slightly taller than Kiley with olive skin, tattoos covering his arms and a lot of hair gel that appeared to keep his hair standing straight up as most boys his age did. Although Stephen appeared to look too young for this class, hmm, she thought, brushed her initial judgement aside then said I’m not usually the sports photographer, I’m just filling in for Sam” as she said conversely. Stephen looked at her images and said “well you have a real eye for sports” as he complimented her as she walked out of the room, they smiled at each other.

After a few short days passed, Sam was back in class and was excited to see what Kiley was able to catch. “Let’s see em! ” Sam said while Kiley took out the best action photos and the few of her home teams that were mostly portraits of their faces. Smiling as she went through them, Sam finally gave her first opinion, wow, these are great! As Kiley took a deep sigh of relief, “you think so?”, Sam replying “yeah these are way better than I thought you would get” as Kiley sat and thought about what Sam said she was interrupted by Stephen who was walking in the back of Sam to review her images again. Stephen was listening to their conversation while Sam praised Kiley for her efforts “ I’m glad you at least got the players in action,” she said. Kiley responding “even though they are the other team? Kiley asked while Sam said, “yeah we lost that game and that is the way the shutter rolls sometimes,” as she giggled. Though Sam was a bit quirky, Kiley and Sam became close friends after that point. Soon Kiley would follow Sam on assignment, they went to all sports games. Stephen also became important to her as they began dating. Stephen would always be a perfect gentleman bringing Kiley flowers, complimenting her just about every day and Kiley never tired of it.

After about a year of dating, Stephen and Kiley became a serious couple as they met each other’s parents, and next they moved into an apartment of their own. Not long after, Stephen asked Kiley to marry him and Kiley responded without a thought saying “YES!” This was the beginning of the end, but she didn’t know it yet. As they started their young life together as a married couple, Kiley was still a student at the University when Stephen had stopped attending taking a gap year. During this time, he began to show subtle signs of change, he began dominating most aspects of Kiley’s life. “You need to stay away from Sam, she’s a bad influence and you need to concentrate on school!” Stephen would say.

One day Kiley came home to work on a project and began using their shared computer as she was putting together her thoughts, Stephen walked in the back of her placing his hand on her shoulders while reading what she had typed. He began to mention things he didn’t like about where her project was going, “you can leave that out, hmm, and add this,” as a boss would say to his employee she thought, this is my project. He then said, “I am just trying to help you, you want an A, don’t you?” Kiley then would say “Yes,” but she knew this was Stephen’s way of jumping in and working on the project as his own. Kiley began to leave her projects at school, that way, he wouldn’t be able to intervene with them. As Stephen began to lose a little bit of control over this, he would start more fights with Kiley.

“You’re not going to that festival,” Stephen would declare when Kiley would say “I’m the single student juror, and I’m going” deep down she knew that Stephen would get his way in the end because she needed to avoid any further fighting.

In her heart, she wanted to gain control for once and fight for her own independence but that wasn’t the day and that wasn’t the fight. The days grew more difficult to navigate with Stephen and though she was close friends with his sister Dawn, his mother was difficult to stay in good graces with. Kiley would often see where Stephen had learned his habits.

One day, Stephen’s mother Amelia came to visit, and she seen them fighting over bills not paid and Stephen not pulling in his share when she said why don’t you two come and live with us. The us, Amelia was referring to was herself and her husband Steve, yet they were living in another city about one hundred miles from Stephen and Kiley. Stephen looked at Kiley and said, “ what do you think” While Kiley had said “no” I’m in school. Stephen raised his eyebrows pondering the question, well you can take a gap year like me and a break while we save money and next year you can go back. Kiley felt anger grinding her teeth she said “it’s a big step but well talk about it Amelia” then steps out of the room.

A few weeks later, they were packing their items up to begin moving. At the beginning of the month, she felt like this could be a good decision while saving money and getting back on their feet. Kiley began working at two different jobs while putting the money she made away in a savings account. Stephen was working at a warehouse with his father Steve, and everything appeared to be landing as planned.

But this quickly changed, as a little over a month had passed when Amelia initially asked the couple to pay her their portion of rent leaving Kiley so confused. But it wouldn’t be the end of her bringing it up, Kiley heard Amelia talking to Stephen about Kiley contributing nothing while living at their home. When she overheard this, she was angry since she was under the impression that they would be giving the couple time to save and get back on their feet. As the days went by and Amelia began to bring up contributing more, Kiley would attempt to appease her by giving her a portion of her paychecks. And though this didn’t seem to work the way she hoped, it kept her off Kiley’s back for a few weeks. This was long enough for Kiley to begin a third job so she and Stephen could get a place of their own. Which is what they did.

The problem with that plan unfortunately was Stephen was back to his old ways. He would ask where she would be going as she kept all three jobs. It wasn’t for the lack of funds but more of a way to get away from the constant arguing and fighting they had daily. One restless morning, Kiley opened up the basement door walking down the stairs where there were a few last unpacked boxes and one that read Delicate handle with care!! so she decided to open the box to see what was so delicate and she came across some images of her old friend Sam. Underneath the images were Kiley’s camera ,”hello old friend,” she said.

Her camera must have been tucked in that box for several years before she opened it up that morning. The camera had some rust spots on the exterior and dust around the lens cap and as she held it for a moment the camera felt heavier than she remembered. Gripping the side of the camera she recognized how much this was missing from her life. In that moment she realized she didn’t just give up a friendship for Stephen she gave up her first true love and passion , her photography.

Kiley pondering many thoughts in her head, she packed up her camera, grabbed some fresh batteries, and told Stephen, “I’m going for a drive.” Stephen predictably said, “I’ll come with you.” There was extraordinarily little traffic out that morning, as they drove up to a breathtaking mountain top where she parked her car, stepping out to take a few photos as there were still small snow patches on the mountain. She was able to take images of large boulders on the mountains and some lovely Blue Spruce trees, then stopped. While Stephen, a few steps below her breathing heavily and struggling to get to the top of the mountain where Kiley stood, Kiley turned to Stephen and said,

“I want a divorce!”

As the words hit Stephen like a brick, he witnessed Kiley, who stood there composed and confident as she raised her camera intently, then taking the shot. This image would become the centerpiece as The X-Husband.

The final photo would be The X-Mother In-Law, where she remembers the exact moment, she was taking it. Arguing with Amelia, while she talked down to Kiley saying,

“MY SON IS BETTER THAN YOU! ” and “YOU’RE THE ONE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM”

as she would often say while fighting Stephen’s battles. Kiley in a calm voice briefly stated” I’m getting the divorce whether he or you like it or not, Amelia”, standing in front of her car, Amelia’s hands placed on her hips with her overnight curlers still in her hair but she would finally be done trying to appease her. Kiley drove in reverse to get out of her parking spot, then placing the car in drive she put her foot on the brake pedal for a brief second looked at Amelia but Kiley only felt pity, pulling her camera up from the strap in her passenger seat she took the photo of Amelia standing alone with pajamas on and curlers coming out of her hair. This would be her final image in the gallery but far from the last image Kiley would take.

After viewing the last image, she looked above as there were words that read “The Narcissist Hall of Fame” smiling with the sense of accomplishment where she got to the end of the gallery. She opened the exit door and on the other side was her husband Mathew holding their newborn in a baby sling and the hand of their daughter. Their eyes met up as the door opened, Mathew smiled at Kiley leaning in close, his voice quiet enough just for her

“You did it”.

Though you were enchanted at one point in your life, you’ll see fully awakened, that the partner you deserve may be just on the other side of that door.

Thank you for reading The Narcissist Hall of Fame.

The X-Boyfriend, The X-Husband, The X-Mother In-law