Seeds Don’t Choose Their Soil

I know it feels unfair, and believe me, I wish it wasn't. But the way you get through this will be the difference between it keeping you down or pushing you forward, moving you through life.

It was early, so early it was still dark outside, and it felt like night, but there was a hint of light out, which led Delilah to believe that it was indeed early. Delilah’s head was still lying on the pillow as she opened her eyes and could see her long curly hair covering most of her face.

Opening her eyes for the morning, she realized her arms were reaching in the air as if she was hugging someone “hmmm,” she said. Was she awake or asleep? And why did it feel like she had just been swimming? Like the summer where she was under water too long that some water went right into her nose, in that moment she felt like she was going to puke, she coughed but thankfully didn’t. She put her arms down and slowly picked up her head from the bed, wiped the dew from her nose with the palm of her small hand, then picked out the hard crumbs that ended up in the corners of her eyes. She always wondered how crumbs ended up at the edge of her eyes. Tossing the blankets off her, she heard her mom yell her name “Delilah! Delilah! what is taking you so long, come eat breakfast!” She said in a not so soft tone.

“I’m coming”
Delilah begrudgingly yelled back, in a very sassy tone as she reached her arm back up once more and quickly grabbed a small piece of pink bubble gum she left from the night before, that she stuck on the wall. To Delilah, if the gum still had a bit of sweet flavor, it would have been a shame to just throw it out.

Now, she didn’t always keep it on her wall, but once she forgot to take it out of her mouth, she woke up with it stuck in her long curly hair. Delilah’s older sister, Ava, had to cut out a chunk of her curls just to get it out,

“Ok, now, stay very still” she recalled Ava saying right before she chopped it off, ouch, Delilah thought, and from that point forward, she kept it in her safe place.

Once she realized what day it was, she couldn’t contain herself, so she jumped out of her bed and yelled “finally” the day had come when she was heading on a field trip to the town’s local amusement park. She was so excited that she almost forgot she was still wearing her pajamas, she quickly pulled off and threw her pajamas on the ground and put on her summer shorts coupled with her going out shirt which was just one of her brothers t-shirts that felt more like a dress the way it fit two sizes too big, but that was only because before her brother, this used to be her dad’s t-shirt. She ran towards the front door passing the breakfast table and realized her whole family was awake at the table. Her brother Adam, who was the oldest sibling by three years, her sister Ava, who was the second oldest, but only by two years her dad and mom all had their lunch bags on the table next to them while eating breakfast.

They seemed a little irritated while they awaited her, as her dad picked up his wrist to view the time on his watch mumbling something she couldn’t exactly hear. Delilah sat down next to Ava at the table and in an extremely excited tone yells “I’m going on a field trip today!” as Adam and Ava got up, just laughed and began shaking their heads as they walked outside. Delilah jumped up from the chair not even touching her breakfast, did a small dance, and then pivoted towards the door as excitement filled her whole body. Her mom handed her a lunch bag as she walked outside in the back of Adam and Ava who were heading towards the backdoor of their old blue Chevrolet.

She remembers when her parents just got the Chevy and picked her up in it for the first time, they rolled up next to her and her friend walking home together. Cathy was undoubtedly talking about their Physical education class being way too demanding and way too physical for middle school.

“ I don’t know why we all have to run I can barely walk! Cathy said and Delilah agreed “yeah, they try to torture us for at least 20 minutes every day for fun!”

Both began laughing like they did on most days as she could always count on a laugh from her good friend Cathy! She began flipping her hair from her face and almost didn’t recognize her own parents driving alongside her. They were driving so slowly they came to a complete stop.

Delilah’s mom yells “get in you two! We’ll drop you off at home Cathy!” Delilah and Cathy glanced at one another, then let out a small giggle “wow” Delilah thought saying “ this is the coolest and best-looking car in the whole neighborhood . Cathy corrected her by saying “well maybe not the best but it definitely beat the old one.”

Their old family car was a brown cocoa bean color that struggled to start from time to time, and shrieked every time they stopped ,”how embarrassing!”

One time they drove up to a stop sign in that car right in the front of her grade school, and as they stopped the car, it let out the loudest of shrieks , then in the corner of her eye, she seen a silver tire cap rolling alongside and passing their car almost hitting a pedestrian , while her and her sister Ava bursted out laughing.

So, this was a big upgrade from that last car as far as cars are concerned. Yet, one thing she hated the most was when both her siblings came along because this meant as the youngest kid at 12 years old and the smallest she always had to fit inside the very small space in the middle, and always felt like she was being sit on, “get off me!, get off,” as she said frustrated with her siblings lifting both arms back up in the air as if she was hugging someone. While the car drove away, she realized that she was on her way to a fieldtrip and the best part of that was she would be sibling free, she took a deep breath, then yelled “Yessss!” she couldn’t contain her excitement.

And on this very typical routine day, her dad and mom sat in the front seats with her mom driving her to school, her siblings on both sides of Delilah and their ears covered by head phones so she leaned close to the right side where her brother sat to hear “We Didn’t Start The Fire” by Billy Joel playing, then leaned to the left side where Ava sat and heard Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time “playing . While they drove on, she put her headphones above her ears and began listening to one of many of her favorites by Tiffany, “I Think We’re Alone Now”, Delilah begins to sing along as loud as she could. Ava and Adam both looked past Delilah at each other and turned their music up just enough to drown out Delilah’s singing. Her mother and father chuckled and looked at one another.

After a few more songs on her playlist, Delilah noticed her proximity to the school, turning the corner, then noticed all of her friends outside on the long unkept grass in the front of her school. She also pointed out the exceptionally large buses lined up at the front of the school, no doubt waiting for the kids to board them. As her car was pulling into the parking area she noticed they weren’t driving the normal route to get to her classes and friends, no, they were driving towards the back, where there was a parking lot full of teachers’ cars. The one way she could tell they were teachers’ cars was that all of them had terribly boring colors, and all of them were more than 20 years old. That’s when she asked her mom, looking very confused” why didn’t you drop me off in front with my friends? Oh no, Delilah shrunk in her seat and thought were her parents going to be chaperones? The kind that come on field trips and totally embarrass their own kids, no, they wouldn’t do that, would they? Are you going to be a chaperone mom,” paused then said “dad? “Delilah asked partly covering her eyes.

Her mom parked the car, looked at Delilah’s father, reaches back, then looked directly at Delilah and says, “A chaperone ?”in a high-pitched tone, slightly smiling at the thought then says “no Delilah, no ! Delilah looked to her left and then to her right and neither one of her siblings seemed surprised, was she the only one not in on the secret?

Her mom sighed, then said “look”, paused to gather the right words, then said, “Delilah, it’s the end of the month, we need to pay some bills, and are low on cash so I’m sorry but you're not going to school today we need all the help we can get” that’s when Delilah put it all together she wasn’t going on the field trip with her parents as the chaperones, no, she and her siblings were all there for one reason alone and it was for going to work in the fields. Delilah felt a strong sense of sadness throughout her body, her face felt tight, and her smile turned to a frown. Her mom took the keys with her like she had every other time she parked the car and said “OK, wait here I’ll be right back” touching the shoulder of her dad, he nodded, said “ok” and she quickly closed the door behind her.

A few minutes went by when Delilah started to think maybe this was some kind of joke set up by her friends, yeah, she thought were they all going to be waiting for her at the front of the school? They were always coming up with different ways to prank each other.

With that in mind she reached over Adam and grabbed the handle to attempt to open the door, “ouch!” her brother yelled “get off me,” so she yelled back “I’m trying to open the door and get out” Adam calmly stated “you heard mom she said, we need to wait here, so, we wait! “Just as Adam was mid sentence their mom opens up the car door and sits back down. “OK, are we all ready to go?”

At that moment she realized it was real, not a joke like she had hoped. Her mother must have went into the school past her friends on the lawn and straight in to the office where she undoubtedly would have spoken to Mrs. Lee, the office clerk, to let her know that her daughter would not be attending school that day and not going on the field trip that all the other students would be attending. Devastated, Delilah stopped the music from playing and put her headset on her lap, crossed her arms, sinking even further into her seat.

As the Chevy drove away from the school, past the school buses, she sat up from her seat only to glance at some of the lines where her friends were beginning to board the buses. She felt the sadness creep in while she wiped a few tears from her eyes and sniffles from her nose, when her mother looked at her through the rear view mirror, saddened by the view of her daughter being so solemn, but knew she had to stay the course and so she drove on. Delilah couldn’t believe that she would have to spend an entire day out in the sun picking blueberries and strawberries instead of having fun with her friends and it just hit her that she was indeed on a field trip of her own, just a different kind of field trip. There would be no rides and snacks and people waiting for shows. And though there would be long lines of people, these families wouldn’t be basking in the sun for fun, they would all be working.

Delilah thought, I’m not even dressed for field work, I have shorts on, and no sunscreen! And just as she was thinking about these things her mother said, “I have some extra sweatpants in the trunk in case you need them” then smiles at Delilah.

When they arrived that morning, Delilah was still very upset, but she knew she was there to work, so that’s what she did, she took a deep breath and mustered up the courage to join her family in the fields. Once they were in the blueberry fields, with the sun gleaning out over the horizon she began to feel a little better. She observed her father pulling the fruit from the bushes without any hesitation and with complete ease, so she tried to do the same but kept pulling out branches instead of the fruit. How did he make it look so easy she thought. Her father observed her from afar then walked towards her, leaning down he placed his hands in back of hers to show her there was a rhythm and flow to picking the fruit without damaging them.

As Delilah looked up at him, she noticed a bit of sweat coming down from his forehead. Delilah also noticed her hands were much smaller than her father’s, but she began delicately pulling the fruit in the same flow as he had just shown her. Beginning to feel the ease of the handling, while her dad watched her for a few more minutes, he nodded down at her in approval and said, “you got it!”, she looked at him then smiled as he walked away. Letting her hands do the work being gentle but precise, she began to hum a tune to her favorite song and moving her head side to side.

After just one row of picking the fruit, she couldn’t resist just a sampling of the beautiful blueish and purple tiny fruit, she couldn’t believe the sweetness that came in such a small package. “Wow”, she said as her eyes grew big cause these were juicy yet crisp, and just enough sweetness for Delilah to want one more, okay, maybe two more, while Delilah, Ava and Adam picked the rest in the row.

Once they were done picking the blueberries, her family drove across the road to the strawberry fields. She observed rows and rows of this small red heart shaped colored fruit, and it was so wonderful she thought and said to Adam “I’m trying one” while running towards the rows to pick one but this time Adam didn’t attempt to stop her. A big gulp came right after popping it into her mouth, “Yum!” she said with her mouth semi full of berries.

She thought the blueberries were the sweetest fruit she would try that morning, she was mistaken. She had tried plenty of blueberries, and strawberries from the local grocery store but these were different, this fruit was quickly becoming her favorite. These were possibly the sweetest and freshest fruit she had ever tried, until that point anyway. She also noticed Ava wouldn’t be able to resist these either as she was also picking a few, and eating a few, all the way through the row. “Stop eating the profits” said Adam jokingly with a mouthful of berries.

After what felt like the longest day in Delilah’s life, it was finally coming to an end. Her family picked up their water bottles and lined up along with other families. Gathering the final carts of fruit they had picked and handing them to the farmers, in turn, the farmers handed Delilah’s mother and father a single piece of paper with the exact amount of fruit they picked and their pay for that day.

Some of the farmers walked by Delilah and her siblings thanking them for their hard work. It was nice to be thanked and good to hear they did a great job. While Delilah looked down, she noticed a collection of fruit stains and dirt on her shirt, so she began wiping all of the dirt from her shirt “aww” she said in a low tone. Delilah’s mother turned to her, Adam and Ava then handed each of them a small amount of money, and although it wasn’t a lot, it was enough.

As Delilah’s mom and dad walked past the other families in that field, she heard her first “thank you” and again “thank you.” Reciprocally, the families thanked each other for their help. Delilah also wanted to show her appreciation “thank you” she said in a high-pitched tone. As the moonlight started to peak out, they all ended their walk at the front of their blue Chevy with Delilah’s dad saying, “let’s go home” and then driving them home that evening.

Almost a decade later, now a young mom, this would become one of Delilah’s most prominent memories when sitting down at her breakfast table. On occasion, her mom and dad would come by for a visit with their grandkids and when they did Delilah made sure to remind her aging father how grateful she was by saying “Dad, you did more than teachers ever could!” wrapping her arms around him, he’d simply smile, nod and his words were always the same, “I did the best I could, in my own way.” Delilah hoped to raise her children with the same amount of love she was given, making a point to mention to her children to be the best they can be, stay calm on the tough days because there would be sunshine waiting just around the corner. And yes, Delilah wouldn’t forget to mention the small things including dressing for the weather and applying plenty of sunscreen as she slings a stick of gum towards her mouth and then in a sassy tone yelled “not again!

For everyone that has ever worked the lands, and wondered if it was enough, it was, and so much more, never alone, as we are all seeds in this human family, growing to reach our full potential, and the only thing that is getting in our way is us.

Thank you for reading Seeds Don’t Choose Their Soil.